Style: Freestyle All Mountain
Ability: Intermediate - Advanced
Shape: Directional
Profile: Hybrid Rocker
Base: Sintered
Conspiracy’s Flex: 6
(1 soft – 10 stiff)

SPICE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE!
The ultimate goals of young males are pretty simple: look cool,
don’t do anything stupid, and – hopefully – score babes. We realize
that this is easier said than done. Especially if you’re talking about
ski babes sippin’ martinis after a few runs on the hill. No need to
worry though, as we’ve consulted our resident expert to help. As an
international man of leisure, an authority on the realm of
fraternization, and an experienced older man in general, Dr. Corey
Smith once again presents you with an official cheat sheet for this
winter’s social events. Please cut out and carry with you always...
The Top Ten apre ski pick up lines:
10. “You really know how to handle those poles.”
9. “Last time I saw peaks like that they had snow on them.”
8. “I don’t like to brag, but they named this run after me.”
7. “So, are those skis yours?... Both of them?”
6. “I wouldn’t pull your pass if you ducked my rope.”
5. “Looks like they’ve been doing avalanche control, because I just
found a bombshell.”
4. “Can I park my pipe dragon in your garage?”
3. “This mountain isn’t a volcano, but we can still make an explosion.”
2. “The snow report says 6”, but come with me and I’ll show you
more.”
1. “You got the buns. I got the Cobra Dog™.”

Why You'll Like It:
Because you don’t get a name like Totally FK’n Awesome if you’re anything less. These hybrid camber boards were built to man-handle each and every feature of Mother Nature’s great mountainous terrain. The elevated contact points are rockered just enough to float through soft snow, while the cambered mid section and slight reversed side cut arc allow you to grip it and rip it – staying in complete control.

IN DETAIL:
DS SELECT RFC Sustainable Core
The DS SELECT core was built for next level performance. Lightweight, with no irregularities or finger joints, the DS core is constructed with the highest quality poplar and beech woods. Beech is placed along the rails, enabling the rider to hold a solid edge while carving, eliminating chatter at high speeds and contributing more power to ollies and landings. Poplar strips are fused with the beech sections for flex consistency and vibration absorption. The DS SELECT offers a consistent, comfortable, and powerful ride in a certified sustainable full wood core.
Custom Weave – E Class Fiberglass Configuration
The E CLASS also utilizes the exclusive CUSTOM WEAVE epoxy resin system. Derived from marine standards, the main focus is to save wood core weight by increasing resin performance. The Stairmaster EXTREME retains the same high energy Park Perfect™ longitudinal and torsional flex it’s known for, while the all new Totally FK’N Awesome series features dual 30mm carbon fiber wings from inserts to contact points for retained power and added pop.
4 x 30mm Carbon V Tech Reinforcements
Wax Infused Rotation Sintered Speed Base
These bases are created by taking pellets of ultra-high-molecular-weight Polyethylene and compressing them through heat and pressure. The miniscule spaces left behind absorb wax and allow for extended periods of high speed shredding as the wax wicks to the surface while you ride. This prevents your base from drying out and keeps the surface feeling freshly waxed throughout the day. Properly maintained sintered bases are fast, durable, and the overwhelming choice of pro snowboarders worldwide.
Die Cut + Silkscreened Combo Base Graphics
360 Degree Steel Edges
4 x 2 Inserts
Aluminum Logo Base Inlay

Totally FK’N Awesome is an outdated American expression with connotations from the 80’s of the best taste. The second degree artwork is sublime on this board that has a multiple type free ride camber.

FREE MAINLAND UK DELIVERY.

Click HERE for delivery chart

Returns Policy

SALE ITEMS ARE NON REFUNDABLE/EXCHANGEABLE.

Before returning an item to us you must call us for a returns number. Items sent back without a returns number cannot be accepted.

Non-faulty items must be sent back unused and in their original packaging any time up to the end of 7 days after you receive the goods. Once received, we will offer an exchange or a full refund if required.
CD's, videos, games and DVD's will not be accepted unless they are returned sealed. Books, Soiled shoes and worn clothing will not be exchanged or refunded. Your statutory rights are not effected by these conditions. Shoes will not be exchanged or refunded if they have SKATE RELATED damage (grip tape is abrasive!), depending on use shoes can wear through very quickly! Wear and stitching damaged is generally not a manufacturing fault. Skateboard setups are custom made to the customer's order and therefore cannot be returned. In addition, snapped or cracked boards usually occur when your foot is in the wrong position when landing a trick. Unfortunately, if this happens, we cannot replace your broken board.

If you exercise your right of cancellation after the goods have been delivered to you, you will be responsible for returning the goods to Conspiracy Retail Ltd at your own cost. The goods must be returned to the address shown above. You must take reasonable care to ensure the goods are not damaged in the meantime or in transit.

Once you have notified Conspiracy Retail Ltd that you are cancelling the contract, Conspiracy Retail Ltd will refund or re-credit you within 30 days for any sum that has been paid by you or debited from your credit card for the goods.

You will be required to pay postage when returning your exchange items to us. Please note that postage costs are non-refundable. Products returned must be properly packaged and sent fully pre-paid to our address (above). When sending your return please obtain a CERTIFICATE OF POSTAGE from your Post office as you will have to produce it in case of a loss.

Label all returns to 'Conspiracy Returns Department'. You should also include your name, address, daytime telephone number, a copy of all invoice/receipts and a covering letter explaining why you are returning it AND what you would like us to do; refund or exchange? With any returns we reserve the right not to refund any item returned not in new condition or after the 7 day period.

All products from Conspiracy are guaranteed against manufacturing defects. Guarantees may vary depending on products & manufacturers.
If you think that your item is faulty then please contact us as soon as possible. All items will be inspected by ourselves and often by the Manufacturer before being deemed faulty. Once we are satisfied the goods are faulty, depending on the circumstances they may be repaired, replaced, exchanged or refunded. Your postage costs in returning the item to us will also be refunded.

If your purchase is being submitted for a warranty claim it will need to be assessed by the manufacturer before a decision is made on action required. This may incur a postage/courier charge on larger items for which successful claims will be reimbursed.

Nb: please be aware that some snowboard equipment (and other large items) will need to be sent via courier and therefore packaged by the customer. Courier pickup can be arranged by conspiracy retail ltd if no courier is available to the customer for a non-profit charge.

If the goods supplied to you are damaged on delivery, you should notify us by phone within 7 days.